A different kind of love
by ChrissieJoy
Summary: How I would have followed 'Her Negotiation/Surrender Benson. Has Olivia been hiding parts of her attack? E/O FRIENDSHIP will play a big part in this. Rated T for later chapters. TRIGGER WARNING: mention of rape/torture/kidnap.
1. Chapter 1

A different kind of love.

What may have happened in the 2 months that Liv was given time off after the kidnap and attack? How I would have followed 'Her Negotiation/Surrender Benson.

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offences are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit. These are there stories.

Olivia stood in Brian's bathroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror. How had she come to this? How had the strong, unwavering lioness-esque detective let herself get to this? She use to feel unbeatable; as if the world could implode and she would still be standing tall. But here she was, bruised, broken, sore and scissors in her hands ready to banish whatever part of her had encouraged this attack. Maybe, she though just maybe if she made herself look different then she could feel like a different person and this feeling of weakness would disappear.

As her hair fell down around her feet and her face crumpled she came to realize that nothing right now would change how she felt. A little relief came to her though when the bathroom door creaked open. The initial click of the handle made her jump; a feeling she was already resenting, but then at seeing who was stood there her mind relaxed and in turn so did her body.

"Liv" Brian spoke gently, stepping forward and allowing her to turn to face him before making any physical contact.

"I'm fine" a short phrase she had learnt to say from a very young age and to different degrees she could make sound plausible, this was not one of those degrees. He knew she was far from 'fine', if anything he was shocked she could still even consider this a word worthy of uttering at a time like this. At the same time her desperation for normality made him love her even more; the fact she could go through what she had and still want her own feelings and needs seem inferior to someone else's only showed the strength that she was was sure had disintegrated the moment Lewis got his hands on her. He stepped closer again and this time put a hand on her forearm, she didn't flinch which he was grateful of.

"You wanna hot drink?" he asked simply. He knew she didn't want to talk, or to sit and watch mindless television, or cry, or have anyone pity her and ask how she was feeling so he acted normal. For her. She nodded lightly and passed him in the door way.

He hadn't been shocked at the fact half of her lovely dark hair was now on the bathroom floor, or at least if he had been he hadn't shown it; which she was thankful for. Come to think of it he wasn't treating her with kid gloves at all, she hadn't had to tell him to be normal. She truly loved him for that.

By the time Brian returned from the kitchen with two mugs of hot tea Olivia had curled herself up on his sofa and unconsciously draped a blanket over her knees as a way of a barrier between her and the world. He handed the mug to her and she received it gratefully before they settled into silence; a silence that would usually be comfortable. On any other day they would be sat in silence for long periods of time without a second thought, but tonight all he could wonder was what must be whirring around her buzzing mind right now. He gazed at her now glazed over eyes and knew that she couldn't stay in her mind for a moment longer. "Liv" he muttered, loud enough to bring her out of her day dream and she snapped her head towards him.

"Yeah...um yeah?" she spoke quickly.

"Who do you need?" he questioned, she looked confused. What did her mean 'who do you need?'? She was with him, who else should she need?

"You?" she answered in an almost child-like wanting to please him manner, wasn't grasping what he was really asking her.

"It's not a trick question Liv, I'm asking you who can help you feel like you" he explained, feeling a little guilty that she could feel like he was testing her at such a crucial moment. Again Olivia's expression was one of confusion. Brian let that be a sign that he should just be there and not ask any questions right now, she wasn't up to answering them yet.

The now short haired detective shuffled closer to her boyfriend and let herself be held, but only because she was initiating the action. Brian lifted her broken wrist gently to his face and kissed it tenderly before placing it back in her own lap, then stroked her hair gently and kissed her forehead.

"You are beautiful" he told her, not only referring to her new (although unplanned and under terrible circumstances) hair cut but also to the way he knew she could get through this. It would take time, but he would see the old Liv again he was sure. She feigned a smile and leaned her head on his shoulder. She was still shaking, he could feel it; pure adrenaline and fright.

"I love you" she said, but as more of a side note than a statement; she felt that she needed to reassure him of that fact before she could carry on to say what she wanted to. She felt guilty that she could even consider the thought when she had such a wonderful man taking care of her and standing by her.

"I know, I love you too" he replied simply and waited for whatever his girlfriend was about to say. She may have been traumatized and still visibly shaken, but the look of having something she needed to get out was the same as ever.

"Elliot" she muttered, then rested her head back down, almost afraid of what his reaction would be. The two of the men had never got on, if anything they had hated each other for one reason or another. This time it was Brian who looked confused.

"Elliot?" he asked, not angry. How could he be angry when she was so fragile?

"You asked who would make me feel like me..." she began quietly and in a timid voice carried on "...Elliot would"


	2. Chapter 2

It was 2.16am, why was his phone ringing?! He hadn't received a call at this time since he left his job almost 2 years ago! Elliot let his eyes adjust to his flashing cell phone in contrast to his dark bedroom and pulled the cell to his ear without looking at the called ID.

"This better be good" he spoke in an almost resentful tone; he had become far too use to sleeping through the night without interruption.

"Stabler, it's Brian Cassidy" at that Elliot sat up in his bed with furrowed brow. What the hell did this jackass want? And more to the point: how did he get his cell number?

"Yeah?" was all he could think to reply, there was no small talk to be made between the two. In Elliot's opinion the guy was an idiot who couldn't handle the job he was given, nor could he love anyone above himself.

"It's Liv" he said, it was only then that Stabler caught the hectic tone of the man's voice. Why was he with Liv? "Can you come and be with her?" he asked, getting straight to the point of his call. There was no slyness about how he was speaking, he sounded genuine and this unnerved Elliot in a way not many things could.

"What is it?" he questioned quickly. All previous thoughts of hate for the man had disappeared and had been replaced with worry.

"She been hurt, bad. She wants you here" he explained simply, with that Elliot was flipping his legs out from under the duvet and over the side of the bed. He was dressing with the one hand he had free in preparation for whatever could be so important to call him at this hour so he could be with her.

"What do you mean hurt?" he asked, still hurrying around trying to get ready as fast as humanly possible. A stir came from his bed.

"El?" Kathy muttered in confusion. "What's going on?" she asked, he didn't have time for a real explanation nor did he know enough to give her one, so he replied in the only way he could.

"It's Liv, she needs me" he told her, his wife sat up with a dumbfounded expression and bit her lip.

"Is she okay?" she asked in honest concern, to which he didn't reply.

Elliot replaced his attention on his cell phone.

"I mean she is hurt enough for ME to call YOU...she's not in hospital, she's at my apartment" he added. Elliot was out of his door and nearing his car.

"Give me your address"

It felt like the longest car journey he had ever taken. All of the thoughts of how she may have been hurt running through his head and her reasoning for needing him and not Brian who apparently was close enough to her now that his apartment was where she was staying after whatever had happened. They hadn't spoken in months. His reason for leaving had never been enough for her. Her circumstances will have changed in all this time. What would she say to him? Was this a set up for her to yell at him? Was he thinking too much about this? Did he feel guilty for wondering if she would set him up? Yes. His brain whirring caused him to lose concentration momentarily, luckily the swerve he took was only minor and her reached composure in time to realign back onto his side of the road.

15.11 minutes was how long it took him to get from his door to Brian's. He knew he had been speeding but he didn't care; something was up and he needed to know what! He pressed the buzzer and without a verbal reply was buzzed up.

"She's through there" Brian spoke and patted Elliot on the shoulder as a way of reassuring no hard feelings without having to say it. Stabler wasted no time in going through to where she was sat.

Before he said anything to make his presence known he took in her appearance. She was in some sort of daydream, which made her unaware he had even come in. Her face was bruised, her lip cut and her arm in a cast. She looked so small, her expression was that of a small child who had seen something they shouldn't have to. He took another step forward.

"Liv?" she snapped out of whatever thought she was stuck in and flicked her gaze towards him.

"Elliot" she spoke timidly. He stepped forward again and sat down beside her before looking over his shoulder to Brian who gave him a nod to let him know he would leave them alone then left the room. Elliot put his hand over hers, she flinched away violently and then closed her eyes looking guilty. "I'm sorry" she pleaded, feeling horrid for pulling away from someone who cared so much about her.

"Liv, what happened?" he begged for an answer, he'd only ever seen her truly upset when her mother died and only witnessed her traumatized after going undercover; this expression was far worse than both of those times combined!

"I um, I was weak El" was all she said, then her face scrunched up and she fell forward to be held.

"Never! Liv, look at me..." he pulled away a little and held her chin for her to stare directly at him "you are never weak! You hear me? Who's done this to you?" he asked, she let herself fade into another daydream. He knew what that glazed look was and immediately stopped it by taking his hand from her chin to her hand "Come back" he insisted, she snapped out of it.

"Lewis" she told him.

"William Lewis? The guy on the news?" he asked in shock, piecing together what this meant. "Liv..." he began, it pained him to ask her any more and didn't know if he really wanted to know but knew he needed to for her sake and his. "what did he do to you?"

Her face crumbled once again and her face fell once more onto his chest.

"I'm a horrible person! All these years I've been telling woman that they'll get through it and I lied! I lied because I won't El!" he didn't need a solid answer to know what she meant he had done. She didn't need her to tell him the words for him to know that the one thing she had been fighting against for all these years was what had been done to her now, she was his best friend! He didn't need the words. "It really hurts" he cringed at the thought of what that could mean...physical? Mental? It hurt HIM to think about it.


End file.
